Subscribing to Oneself
As I’ve recently changed (or modified) my tune (well for one, I’ve been sharing more tunes…), I’ve noticed that I have lost some subscribers. I have also gained some new followers—welcome! So perhaps I am just attracting a bit of a different audience.
As someone who was a chameleon growing up and tried to be what others wanted them to be, it’s really hard to not feel bad that my subscriber numbers have gone down a bit.
But here’s the thing:
I don’t know if they unsubscribed because they don’t like my blog anymore. Maybe they just had to shift their priorities around. Maybe it’s something completely unrelated!
And if they did unsubscribe because they no longer want to invest their time and/or money in me, then so be it.
More important than others subscribing to me, is that I subscribe to myself.
I’ve quit showing up as who I’m supposed to be.
Facing trauma, grief, and difficult life circumstances can do that to a person.
When my dad died seventeen years ago, I pushed through and continued on the path I had set out. I thought I was incorporating his memory into my life, but I wasn’t giving myself space to heal, and I attracted life experiences that mirrored that.
My divorce was finalized more than a year ago. In that healing process, I am becoming a more whole person, including deepening the process of healing over the loss of my dad.
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